Sunday, November 13, 2011

Am I Really Posting This?

I was recently talking with one of my best friends and she was telling me that sometimes when she reads blogs, it makes her feel worse about herself.

She’ll start comparing herself and her home to the blogs she’s reading, thinking “my house isn’t that clean, or that nicely decorated, I can’t do that, they are so good to do ALL that stuff” and so on.

I was a little surprised because she sees me all the time, and should know that there is always more going on “behind the blog”, because really who is going to post a picture saying “Look at the big zit I have!”?


I think we as individuals are our own worst critics. We can pick out the worst in ourselves and pounce all over that. As a blogger, I want to put my best foot forward. I think enough bad things about myself, and don’t need the rest of the world to know those things as well.


However, I feel like I need to set the record straight. I can’t speak for other bloggers out there, but this a little about me.


So to keep it real, this is me in the morning when I wake up – still in my PJ’s.


It’s amazing what makeup, clothes, hair done, and a smile can do for you.


Guess what though? Most days I look like the first picture.


How about my house?

I feel like I’m a pretty clean person, but at any given time, this is probably what you’ll find.




Do you want to know why I’m ok with all of that?


When I scrub my house, it doesn’t stay clean. Then I yell at the kids for “getting spots on the mirror when I just cleaned that”. When there are already spots, I could care less about a few more. I’m more relaxed and yell significantly less.


Most days I get my kids ready because we have to head out the door, but if we don’t have to go anywhere in the morning, this is more what my kids look like.


Want to take a closer look at my son’s head?


Saturday morning I was back in my room making my bed, when I heard a crash.


Giant gash requiring 5 stitches. Mad dash to the ER. Blood everywhere (that’s why his face is so red).

See what cleaning your house can do? I shouldn’t have been making my bed.



Ok, that’s enough of my dirty laundry. Believe me, there is WAY worse, but I don’t want you guys to know all my faults.


What I do want you guys to know is there is ALWAYS more than meets the eye. EVERYONE has faults. EVERYONE has things they are working on or don’t like about themselves.

It’s a major flaw we have when we compare our weaknesses to others’ strengths.


Here’s what I’ve learned. I have to ask myself “what matters most?” And that is where I concentrate my time and efforts. So some days I don’t get ready. Some days I don’t clean my house. Some days my kids stay in their pajamas. But guess what?


My kids are happy, healthy, and most importantly, LOVED!

(P.S. If you look closely, you can see a basket of clothes on the table that needs to be folded.)


You may not hear a vacuum everyday in my house, but you will hear laughter.

You may not smell Pine Sol, but you’ll probably smell cookies baking.

My husband may not come home to a “done-up” wife, but he does come home to 5 people who ADORE him!

I may not create anything one day {GASP} or answer emails, but I did cuddle, and tickle, and read, and play with my little ones.


To wrap things up, I wanted to leave a music video that means a lot to me and has helped me out so much. It’s called “All the Good” by Hilary Weeks. However, I couldn’t find it online, so here are the words. If you get a chance to listen to it, I encourage you to do so.



The minutes tick by
Lost in the moonlight
As the day echoes through the night
She wasn't enough
She wonders if she ever will be
Mistakes are all she sees
In the shadows of the night
But she forgets
When the guilt fades from memory
She forgets about
The good things she's done
The kind words she's said
The tiny victories that no one sees
And the changes she's made
And when the count comes in
As she's adding up the day
In the midst of the "coulds" and "shoulds"
Help her remember all the good
I've given my all
I've run until I'm weary
And I reach up every time I fall
I know who I am
I feel it deep within me
But the best of me hides
While my weaknesses all shine
And I forget
Until He patiently reminds me
I forget about
The good things I've done
The kind words I said
The tiny victories that no one sees
And the changes I've made
And when the count comes in
As I'm adding up the day
In the midst of the "coulds" and "shoulds"
Help me remember
He looks on the heart
Fills in the missing pieces
We can be sure
That He knows and won't forget
The good things we've done
The kind words we've said
The tiny victories He surely sees
And the changes we've made
As the day comes to a close
And we've done all we could
Look through the mirror of His love
And He will show us
All the good

Thanks for letting me share with you guys today.

I truly hope you will each realize how amazing you are!



  1. Thank you for this post! It's good for us as women to know that we're not alone. I have a sign in my hallway that says: "Please excuse the noise and mess, the kids are making happy memories". It helps me remember that if they're happy and fed, folding laundry can wait. :)

  2. This post is fabulous, and we all need to hear it from time to time! So often we get caught up in the fantasy of what someone elses life must be like. That you will never quite measure up.

    I think once you have a few kids you just give up the battle and start having fun with it! After all, its the smudged fingerprints and bandaids that make a life full of giggles, squeals, and tantrums worth living!

  3. What a great post and a great reminder that nobody is perfect, family comes first and some times it's OK to just 'let it go!'

  4. Thank you so much for posting this. I absolutely loved the line..."You may not hear a vacuum everyday in my house, but you will hear laughter" That really hit home with me and I thank you for sharing this.

  5. Just don't have to tear yourself or anyone else down to make others feel better about themselves! It's awesome to keep it real but it's also okay to aspire to do our best everyday with what we have! : )

  6. love this! and I LOVE your tunic dress in the second picture? Where did you get it? I'm pinning it in the hopes of making a knock off (Maybe). Also, my little one has the same dinosaur pjs as your baby (cute!)

  7. Thanks for sharing your family. I think a lot of us are like that. We don't think to share the bad stuff because we don't think it's interesting enough! Love when you asked on fb about who wears make up and does their hair and how often. It made me glad that I didn't have the only husband greeted by what mine is! :) And your kids look very happy and very loved. That's what's important.

    p.s. I'll be sure to tell my husband what happens when you start making beds...great excuse!

  8. It is always amazing how we can focus on the negatives and miss all the positives in our lives! Thanks for sharing and reminding us that we are "good enough". Love the song!

  9. Great Post! I too have felt like your friend...intimidated by others' blogs, but I finally figured out that bloggers let you see what they want you to see and some aren't brave enough to let you see the flaws and the "behind the scenes" Thank you for being one of the brave!!

  10. Thanks for sharing! I NEED the grey dress in the second photo! Where is it from?

  11. Thanks for that! It means a lot to me and many others. We need to remember what is important :)

  12. Awesome post Tam! You were very brave, but it is so true! I am a full-time working mom with OCD when it comes to keeping my house clean. I was getting so stressed out because I just didn't have enough time in a day to do everything I needed to do! I actually ended up hiring a house keeper that comes once a week to do the nitty-gritty for me, the bathrooms, the dusting. I am so much less stressed! No rushing home from work to make dinner, clean the house AND play with my kids. I still vacuum everyday but other than that I just spot clean. And my counter top looks like yours - papers all over it. It can't be helped! Of course I hide it all when guests come over... usually on top of the fridge. ;)

  13. Great post.. I really believe that if you have kids.. your house is never going to stay clean (i count my fiancé as a kid too ;) ) and your right.. as long as there is love, laughter and health.. what ever really truly matters :)

    Thank you so much for sharing the "behind the scene" with us :) Hope you have a terrific monday!

  14. omg your poor boy!!! hope he heals soon!!!

  15. What a perfect post! I too run a blog, keep a house and then feel like it's not as nice as so and so's blog or house. Oh well. My family is healthy and happy and that's what matters most!Thanks for a glimpse into your real life, not your blog life!

  16. Always nice to see the REALITY : ) I think of myself as a clean person too... does that mean my house isn't messy? Nope. It pretty much always is. There is a difference between clean and "my kids are running around playing and I'm folding laundry in every room of the house"

    and I pretty much stay in my pajamas all day!

  17. I love this post! It's so true...there's always more going on "behind the blog" than meets the eye. I've often wondered if people would still read my blog if they were to show up at my front door unannounced and see what my home truly looks like day-to-day, or would they run screaming and think I'm a huge fraud. Seriously. It's so easy to make things look good in pictures. Piles of junk, tools, paint cans, dirty dishes, etc., can be moved just out of frame, and what is portrayed in the picture is a beautiful, clean room, but in reality, it's chaos. (Speaking from my own experience.)

    Thank you for keeping it real!

  18. I saw someone else post on your grey dress ;) I'd like to know where you got it, too!
    Love you post. sorry about your boy's stitches.

  19. Thank you! That was an awesome reminder and reality check. Have a great day!!

  20. This made me cry... in a good way:) Sometimes you need a reminder. I am in completely over my head these days. I have overextended myself... but all for a good cause. So in the end it is nice to see that I am not the only one with a kid wearing a bandage:) As long as I give the ones I love the best of me, the rest will work itself out. I know He will see these victories. Thanks for the encouraging post.

  21. At first glance I thought the first picture was a mug shot!! But I knew you wouldn't be taking a mug shot for real! Thanks for sharing though Tam! Makes all of us feel "normal"....if there is such a thing!

  22. You are awesome Tam! We love having you guys as neighbors...and to be honest, it is good to remind others of our faults so we aren't on a pedestal that we can fall from.

    BTW- I would not dare post pictures of my house on a normal's not pleasant. :)

  23. Thanks for making us all feel better today. These photos pretty much resemble my house on any given day, except my kids are older, and after they go to school, there are days that I swear I didn't have three kids, I had a whole entourage for a teenage girl here messing up three bathrooms. Impressive, it all happens before 6:30 a.m. too.

  24. This is a sweet blog. I think a lot of people feel like your BFF when reading blogs, so it's really good to actually see some "faults".=)

  25. Thank you for posting this. When I first started stalking crafty blogs on blogland, I started getting down on myself and how I wasn't "perfect!" I finally had to take a break after a few months of this and realized, you know what, it's not what other people think, it's what I think. I gave one of my best friends some pretty amazing advice (if I may say-so myself! ;) But she actually said it was amazing first, so that counts, right?) right before her wedding. She was having a difficult time with the prospect of a pretty formidable MIL (the woman seemed perfect) and was overwhelmed with the idea of trying to live up to her and filling her shoes. I told her that they as a couple couldn't be what everyone thought they should be. They had to figure out what they, as a couple and an individual, should be together and forget everyone else. I realize now, though, that's actually advice I need to take for myself, especially where parenting my kids and taking care of my house is concerned. So really I was just advising myself, right?! ;) Anyway, thanks for the look into your (not-so) perfect behind the scenes life.

  26. Thanks for sharing Tam! It's always encouraging to know there are those that seem to have everything so together... Then find out their just real people too! :)

  27. Thanks ladies! I love hearing your stories as well, it's nice to know we are all human!

    I got the dress at Quincee's Boutique. They don't have an online store just yet (hopefully in the next couple of weeks they will). But they post a lot of stuff on their Facebook page:

    and they will ship anywhere. Give them a call and they can get you that dress. But hurry because they sell out QUICK and once it's gone - it's gone! 801-692-1417

  28. i usually just crop my photos or blur the edges to hide all the dirty laundry/sippy cups/junk in the background! because we LIVE here - and i don't have time to look like i live at pottery barn.

    but i get what your friend says too - i've been blogging for years but when i'm feeling low, think about giving it up - so many others are doing it and "better" than me. thanks for a peek into your life, from one tam to another :)

  29. Outstanding post! Thank you for sharing what I feel so many times. My kids are grown but still, life gets in the way of blogging and life is what is important. :-) We need to be kinder to ourselves, keep it real and stay in the moment. Honestly, I don't have a clue how you get anything done with 4 little ones. They are totally adorable, that's for sure!


  30. jejejee... that is true.. when we make posts, we try to show the best of us, and then people think we are better than we really are...jejeje... thanks for sharing the naked truth

  31. So wonderful and true. It is easy to wonder how everyone does it... but, no one is perfect. Great post.

  32. Love this post! Do you mind sharing-what size of a barrel of a curling iron do you use? I love the look of your hair, but I'm not sure how to accomplish it!

  33. Thanks AFP! I use a 1" barrel curling iron.


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